Spent a dozen years, oh, moth to light Center stage, they all know your name. Was sure I was right That that’s what life’s about, yeah, but I was wrong, wrong, wrong Ain’t I really smart? ‘Cause that was really dumb, and now you moved on And for a half a year since then it’s been bliss Or maybe hospital trips, therapists, and the whole summer skipped But I swear I tried, even went to the beach and Canobie Lake Cried on the drive home both times, it was more than I could take And it hit me like a ton of bricks In the chest where the heart, turns out, it sits That you ain’t hot shit When you can’t stop taking hits, hits, hits And you’re the middle kid, But call your little brother, make him worried sick ‘Cause you bought a gun, then stole another one And I’m hoping like hell that now those days are done Way, way, way away from here Way, way, way away from here, oh Way, way, way away from here Way, way, way away Stare all night at my phone To feel less alone Less at home and more Way, way, way away from here Way, way, way away from here, oh Way, way, way away from here Way, way, way away It’s where I gotta go You say I’ll never grow Maybe so, but all I know Is that Suddenly I’m about Picking up shifts instead of calling out And when the junk food hits my mouth That’s a minute or two when I’m out Of touch With everything that’s just too much Hey Swiping every face on this app 3 o'clock, taking a nap Pointless videos ‘til I crash Not even ones that make me laugh They don’t make me anything Oh, they could be anything Just as long as it’s Way, way, way away from here Way, way, way away from here, oh Way, way, way away from here Way, way, way away Might even pack some bags Move a flight away Anything but trying to hear ‘em when they say To let it go Let it go Let it go. Oh Well, I tried, I’ve tried, I’ve tried They say you never know You never know You never know Who’s next in your life, your life, your life But I met my soul I met my soul Met my soul‘s mate Then it died, it died, it died So “let it go?” Nah, you ain’t credible Pass the edibles, let’s get high High, ‘cause when I’m awake What am I missing anyway Anyway? Oh my God, I think These are the days, yeah these are the days that I These are the days, yeah these are the days that I These are the days, yeah these are the days that I Almost pulled the trigger on and left behind And I was so busy writing wills and losing mine Life blowing my mind to the point where I almost blew my mind Still I tried, and, oh, by summer’s end Looking back, I was faced with a shot at love again I cooked for her with just an apron on, feel like I was ready now Heart still healing but I gave it away anyhow We saw hot air balloons and she made food shopping fun Was almost there but then it all went up in helium ‘Cause I didn’t see that These were the days, yeah these were the days that I These were the days, yeah these were the days that I These were the days, yeah these were the days that I Was overdue, can I be over you and just Flip a switch and make it true Make it true, oooh Make it true, oooh Make it true, oooh ooh Make it true, oooh Make it true, oooh ooh Make it true, oooh Make it true, oooh oooh ooh Make it true, oooh Make it true, oooh ooh Make it true, oooh Make it true, oooh oooh ooh Make it true, oooh Make it true, oooh ooh Make it true, oooh Make it true, oooh oooh oooh Make it true, oooh Make it true, oooh ooh 'Cause what do you do When do you when it’s been a half a fucking year And all you do is try but you can’t make it anywhere Anywhere that’s Way, way, way away from here Way, way, way away from here, oh Way, way, way away from here Way, way, way away Oh, I’ve overstayed What wasn’t welcome anyway Hey It's just another night in doubt, sitting on the couch Scared of going out, worrying about What I’m gonna wear, if I’ll see you there What’s it matter anyway? I see everywhere I go. Go Even though you're just a ghost, ghost, ghost, ghooooost Meet another girl, plan to see the world Make her toes curl, then get drunk and hurl Puke up the gin, thoughts I kept in Do comparisons ‘til I’m alone again Alone and fucking broke, ‘cause I broke Lost thirty pounds then gained it back just to cope. Cope When is it enough When is it enough When is it enough When is it enough When is it enough When is it enough When is it enough When is it enough You’d think I’d think so long ago But it’s been a full, full, full, fuuuuuulllll Oh, it’s been, yeah, it’s been six whole months Just being sad, being sad, being sad And, if nothing else, I’ve learned there’s probably another six ahead Maybe many more, so the ones that’s been, they gotta end And I gotta say that now those days are done

And I don’t believe in pills Even though my back still kills Been that way since the day I crashed Can’t spot a van if you’re looking back I still get laid, some one-night stands Ten years ago I’d be the fucking man Still got abs, still hit the gym Got new jeans and they’re fitting slim Still got friends, still going out Whichever bar seems cool to post about Fresh cut, three weeks at most And 20/20, perfect for seeing ghosts And I don’t know if I believe that life’s just like this Sinking in the quicksand of the mistakes we make "I did, but I ain’t, fucked up,” I keep on saying despite this Scared all my next "I love you"s are gonna come out fake Who am I these days anyway? Nothing if not High strung today. Ooh ooh High strung today. Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh High strung today. Ooh ooh High strung today. Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh Ohh oh And I take sleeping pills Every night ‘cause I just can’t chill Head to pillow, time to crash Staring at the ceiling, looking back Love, where you at Not in the reflection staring back Been so long since I’ve seen her look Watch the game, read a book And I don’t know if I believe that life’s just like this Sinking in the quicksand of the mistakes we make “I did, but I ain’t, fucked up,” I keep on saying despite this Scared all my next “I love you”s are gonna come out fake Who am I these days anyway? Nothing if not High strung today. Ooh ooh High strung today. Ooh ooh, oooh ooh ooh High strung today. Ooh ooh High strung today. Ooh ooh, oooh ooh ooh High strung today. Ooh ooh High strung today. Ooh ooh, oooh ooh ooh High strung today. Ooh ooh High strung today 'cause we, yeah we Yeah, we don’t know what’s up

Ooh oooh ooh, must be something legit On that screen if all I did was sit Keep it lit, keep it warm with the tips of my thumbs Was the least I could do with all that it’s done for me ‘Cause we all need some fun when we’ve got medical debt From the psych ward ‘cause forgetting your ex Ain’t as simple as making the choice of which weapon to get to end it all Time’s money and I spent it all Replay booth, let’s get another view Of me giving away the chocolate-covered fruits Subtle “I love you”s, thinking I really got something better to do than grab brunch Cut the reel, I’ve seen this enough I can’t tell if I think it’s rich or am conceding the notion that life’s a bitch That only after your last, last kiss do you really ever taste how sweet it is Well I don’t think I’m a masochist, but if that’s the case what the fuck was this We can’t win big ‘til we lose some hands It’s cruel, it’s cool. We just don’t understand what’s up Yeah, we don’t know what’s up Took some time, oh, to realize That I was Icarus-level high in the sky Not every set of eyes looks at you dogs with a pizza slice And, oh, even the ones that do, well you don’t always want them to Oooh oooh ooh, maybe it takes a year To understand that my greatest fear Is this right here. I’ve soiled it, oh, it's crystal clear Now I’m trying to fill a void that didn’t exist before I created it And I can’t tell whether to cry or laugh Or shrug it off ‘cause, fuck it, life’s like that That only after she don’t call you back That’s when you really, really, really want to know where she’s at Well she ain’t in drugs that make you crash Still learning that lesson, though I know it’s a fact We can’t win big ‘til we lose some hands It’s cruel, it’s cool. We just don’t understand what’s up Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah We don’t know what’s up Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah We don’t know what’s up Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah We don’t know what’s up Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooooh Least if I think of you now, it don’t hurt like it used to sting We made it through the year, let’s have a do-over spring, another couple flings Not notice what she does then sing about this lesson again Maybe this’ll be the ‘now’ I’m lamenting then And I don’t know if I think it’s right That where we’re at ain’t always justified That only when you can’t wave goodbye Cause you’re shackled up and you’re taking a ride To some padded walls so you don’t take your life They treat your laces like a fucking knife, oh Maybe then it’ll give you some time To reconsider why I did all these things that don’t make sense Do I hate myself or am I just that dense Seems dumb but we're confusing the tense Who wouldn’t change their story if they knew how it ends Looking back, it all makes sense No defense, just ignorance We can’t win big ‘til we lose some hands It’s cruel, it’s cool. We just don’t understand what’s up Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah We don’t know what’s up Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah We don’t know what’s up Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah We don’t know what’s up Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooooh

Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it Maybe someday I’ll believe it’s true, oh oh ooh Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it Maybe someday I’ll believe in you, oh oh ooh It’s not your fault that I’m a losing horse And there ain’t nothing you can do to force This to be that, though we both have tried How’s this the honeymoon? ‘Cause on those you ain’t supposed to On those you ain't supposed to cry We got our own jokes and I recognize That yours are special, not just someone else’s eyes I want to find my woman; you want to get your man I don’t know if I’m that, but I’m doing the best I Doing the best I can But I’m a fucking skeptic. I don’t believe my friends Or that shit starts changing just 'cause the leaves are red I want to have some faith that the kind of love I threw away Ain’t just once in this lifetime and we can start anew someday But I’ve been beat, shaped by defeat Shaped by a year trying to negotiate Self-love with a pinch of hate There ain’t no meant to be But maybe that won’t matter eventually because Maybe someday I’ll believe it, maybe someday I’ll believe it Maybe someday I’ll believe it’s true, oh oh ooh Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it Maybe someday I’ll believe in you, oh oh ooh Oh oh ooooh oh oh But I’ve been a mess, shaped by regret Shaped by anything but naivety The stars don’t believe in me Oh. Sorry, babe, but I have to go Find out if there’s light in the afterglow Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it Maybe someday I’ll believe it’s true, oh oh ooh Maybe someday I’ll believe it. Someday I’ll believe it Maybe someday I’ll believe in you, oh oh ooh Oh oh ooooh oh oooooh

Life smacked me ‘round and it smacked me good Smacked me ‘round ‘til I understood That I’m just half, half, half It ain’t about getting clicks and views ‘Cause you ain't no one if no one’s missing you When it’s time to hit the sack, sack, sack Killed the set - who gives a fuck It's just another way to interrupt My mind and it’s lonely track, track, track Nothing sacred and true as you Ooooohhh Jesus Christ, I’m almost twenty-nine Thirty’s coming in the blink of an eye No time to waste, waste, waste First dates on half my nights Hoping I land something half as right As her to help the ache, ache, ache Cancel on my brother, bail on the guys The same ones who talked me out of suicide Last year when I tried, tried, tried Guess my “thanks” and I were fake Oooooh Now all my fears are valid And I’m hanging in the balance. Oh oooh oh This is what happens when you sell it All to feel a little valid. Oh oooh oh From people you don’t even cherish It's got me hanging in the balance Oh oooh oh. Oooh oooohhhhh. Oohh They had visiting hour twice a day At the Cypress Center where I was locked away Last May to save my life, life, life Quote Had a schizophrenic roommate No one came to see him the whole time of my stay But I had like five people visit twice These are the loved ones I’m cool to flake On for the sake of a Tinder date Guess I never got it right, right, right That love comes first, this tire’s gonna burst Ooooh Now all my fears are valid And I’m hanging in the balance. Oh oooh oh This is what happens when you sell it All to feel a little valid. Oh oooh oh From people you don’t even cherish It's got me hanging in the balance Oh oooh oh. Oooh oooohhhhh.Now all my fears are valid And I’m hanging in the balance. Oh oooh oh This is what happens when you sell it All to feel a little valid. Oh oooh oh From people you don’t even cherish It's got me hanging in the balance Oh oooh oh. Oooooh ooooooooohhhhhhhhh

And it ain’t that cool to be Triggered by the justice of the peace Giving Nate and Lauren some generic speech He probably does like twice a week He gave that line about true love and I tweaked Didn’t mean to cause a scene A couple friends who weren’t drunk yet came to see What's wrong; I shrugged, 2017. 2017 Keep doing it then eventually That’s the new routine Storming out of bars and Monopoly Now “pardon me”’s a part of me Broken record defense: I wear my heart on my sleeve So I guess it’s cool to be Twenty-eight without my shirt straight, relieved When I don’t remember my dreams But, hey, guess it’s easier this way And it’s just so tough Wish I was as tough today As it is to chase the ghosts away Well, maybe they go away Oh When we grow up Yeah, when we grow up When we grow up Yeah, when we grow up I think we grow up, yeah When we kick off the dust And say it's enough of enough Oooh ooooh ooh ooh ooooh ooh And it’s just tough Wish I was as tough today As it is to chase the ghosts away I'm starting to think they'll go away Oh When we grow up Yeah, when we grow up When we grow up Yeah, when we grow up Ooooh when we grow up Yeah, when we grow up When we grow up Yeah, when we grow up Oh, I think we grow up, yeah When, oh, we kick off the rust And say it's enough of enough Oooh ooooh ooh ooh ooooh ooh

Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh Ooh ooh oooh, ooh ooh oooh. Oooh, oooh Oooh. Oooh, ooh Oooh, ooh. Oooh ooh Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh Ooh ooh oooh, ooh ooh oooh. Oooh, oooooh Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh Oooh, ooh. Oooh ooh Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh Ooh ooh oooh, ooh ooh oooh. Oooh, oooh Oooh. Oooh, ooh Oooh oooh, oooh ooh Oooh oooh oooh oooh, ooh, ooh. Oooh ooh Ooh ooh oooh, ooh ooh oooh. Oooh, oooh. Oooooh I’ve taken second jobs when I don’t need the cash Tried to find a match on all these fucking apps Played shows and sports, even gotten latched Up with an even prettier face. Oh it’s been a blast, it’s been a blast Oh, it's been a blast I’ve thrown all your cards in the trash Gone months at times without a genuine laugh Blown my stack at work at the kitchen staff Oh, I’ve been stretched in ways that I can’t retract Blew my next shot, took a few and got smashed Then found another ass quick to help distract Bounced in a month, before what was under wraps Came to light, and she went to the clinic and stopped me from being a dad Before I could ask Oh, it’s been a whole fuckin’ year And I’m still fuckin’ here Stuck in gear Scaaaaaared Oh, it’s been a whole fuckin’ year And I’m still fuckin’ here Stuck in gear Scaaaaaared Ooooh Maybe she took that path ‘cause she knew this’d never last She knew all about you, though she never asked K, who’s up next? Found another in a week flat All of a sudden it’s been a half a year of this shit so fast Month in and I’m still me, so we’re still showing cracks Now she resents me, takes friends, and talks shit behind my back But I’m so fucking scared to fade alone to black That I guess I’m putting up with that Growing so much less rash by the day And that’s a fact Oh, it’s been a whole fuckin’ year And I’m still fuckin’ here Stuck in gear Scaaaaaared Oh, it’s been a whole fuckin’ year And I’m still fuckin’ here Stuck in gear Scaaaaaared Oh, it’s been a whole year And I’m still fuckin’ here Stuck in gear Scaaaaaared So, it’s been a whole fuckin' year And I’m still fuckin’ here Stuck in gear Scaaaaaarrreeed Right

And along the way I guess we learn How to build and how to burn And that what we have is exactly what we’ve earned What I said was what I meant But I couldn’t be more different In these days I’ve spent trying to repent There ain’t a god, don’t lie to me But I believe in irony Since you left and only now I’m finally The man I should’ve been Could’ve been, would’ve been If I knew this feeling was one that wouldn’t end Eeennndd I tell ‘em they’re beautiful, I send ‘em texts goodnight Though no “I love you”s, ‘cause it don’t feel right I’m meeting parents quick, planning birthday trips I’m having, I think, healthy relationships I’m living for love. For once, not like when I was too young Too stupid, too smart to be acting so dumb Before what I’d become just a world that’s spun All out of whack ‘cause when it’s all said and done It’s all said and done, and you were the one Jacqui said her dad would hop State to state and they’d barely talk Guy’s like fifty, I guess it never stops She said were were alike; I said, nah, I’m cool But I guess we're both some fools ‘Cause I’m always telling my friends I’m ‘bout to move Truth is: no matter where, I’m stuck No matter where, I’m fucked Learned what I loved ‘bout life once I tore it up So what to make of this “after” life Good advice, bad advice It’s all moot anyway when you’ve paid such a price. Right Ooooh, ooooh, ooh Oooh, ooh Ooooh, ooooh, ooh Ahhh. Ah ahh ahh ahh, ahh, ahh ahh. Oooh oooh ooh Oooh. Oooh. Ooooooh oooh, oooh Oooh. Oooh. Oooh, oooh, ooh Oooh. Oooh. Ooooooh oooh, oooh Ooooh. Oooooohhhhh aahhh ahh ahhhhhh

It’s past 3:00 again, oh, and we’re still wide awake Our heads, they ache You’re going off again 'bout how I ain’t ready to be The man you need Why we doing this again? We just did it last week Plus we both know we’re both so weak You say sometimes you hate me and I know that that can’t be love But then our legs will rub Oh, it’s been so long since I felt so strong Was what I had a fluke If so, I’ll move along. But is it so wrong To just believe, like a fool, it was true Well this ain’t love and I know that because Love's to me what was She showed me all the things that you only ever told me What kind of hands I want to hold me ‘Bout how when all the friends and presumptions drift away Who you want to stay It’s A Beautiful Morning was the song I used to use to get me awake Now it’s whatever Apple makes Oh, it’s been so long since I felt so strong Was what I had a fluke If so, I’ll move along. But is it so wrong To just believe for a second that it was true Oh, I don’t want no trouble Life on the double To solve no fucking puzzle Just some snuggles I don’t want no struggle No thoughts getting muzzled Sobbing ‘til there’s puddles Just some snuggles Oooh ooh It’s past 3:00 again, oh, and I know why we’re awake It’s ‘cause I made some mistakes Made you feel like this whole thing was a waste You weren’t my first love, just second place And as the evidence goes, that may be true Though I could say the same for you I know his name and his past like now you know the one from mine But can I help get him out of your mind Oh, it’s been so long since we felt so strong Was what we had a fluke But when you hold me close and before it goes It’s a nice refrain to just believe it was true Oh, I don’t want no trouble Life on the double To solve no fucking puzzle Just some snuggles I don’t want no struggle No thoughts getting muzzled Sobbing ‘til there’s puddles Just some snuggles Oh, I don’t want no trouble Hail Mary’s in the huddle Tryna mix what doesn’t muddle Just some snuggles Oh, it’s been a couple Years with the shovel Chasing light, digging tunnels Toward some snuggles Oh, I don’t want no trouble Life on the double To solve no fucking puzzle Just some snuggles I don’t want no struggle No thoughts getting muzzled Sobbing ‘til there’s puddles Just some snuggles Oh, I don’t want no trouble Hail Mary’s in the huddle Tryna mix what doesn’t muddle Just some snuggles Oh, it’s been a couple Years with the shovel Chasing light, digging tunnels Toward some snuggles Oh, I don’t want no trouble Shouting matches and rebuttals Tasted love before the struggle Before the rubble It was big, it was subtle The scratching of my stubble Breaking day with some cuddles And some snuggles